The Mr. Chuck Show

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The Mr. Chuck Show 1st Annual Reader Survey Results

Ok, this is it. Normally you would expect me to have some witty comment at this point to start the whole thing off, but I'm just too damn tired from compiling the all the results, so instead, let's just get to it...

A total of 148 people filled out the survey. Most of the surveys were filled out completely, but in some cases, people left several questions unanswered. To balance this out, I added a "No Answer" category to each question. I've shown the original survey questions in blue. In front of each choice is the percentage and number of times it was picked. Duh. Now for the results...

1. Hi. My name's John. What's your name?
3% (4) Winfred.
7% (10) Englebert.
3% (4) Bertha.
3% (4) Todd.
6% (8) Enrique.
75% (111) Other
5% (7) No Answer

This question seemed like an easy way to start off, but to my surprise, five percent of you didn't know your own name. I'm not sure how this is possible. Maybe I was to ambiguous. If you were in this group, send me an email (assuming you can figure that out) and let me know what happened. If I had to guess, I'd say that the, "Hi. My name's John" part threw you off.

2. Who is your favorite Mr. Chuck Show character?
25% (36) Mr. Chuck.
30% (45) Ned.
14% (21) Stumpy.
4% (6) Doc.
10% (15) Rosco.
16% (24) Jim Bob, the Y2K Bug.
1% (1) No Answer

This one was no real surprise. Ned was the favorite followed by Mr. Chuck. I was a little surprised that Jim-Bob beat out the others. He's pretty hard to draw, but since he is fairly popular, I'll sacrifice and make sure to include him more often in future strips. That's the kind of commitment I have towards my readers. 100% self-sacrifice.

3. How did you find this site?
15% (22) A friend.
43% (64) A link from another comic site.
3% (4) A news group posting.
2% (3) A search engine.
25% (36) I can't explain it, I just found it.
8% (11) In a dream.
5% (7) I'm your mom dear, you added it to my bookmarks.
0% (0) No Answer

Four times as many people found my site in their dreams than found it on a search engine. While this raises serious doubt about the effectiveness of search engines, it more importantly makes me wonder why people are dreaming about cartoon dogs. And another thing... either my mom, in a fit of drunken schizophrenia, mistakenly filled out the survey 7 different times (which honestly wouldn't surprise me very much) or there are 6 other people named John Myers who are telling their mothers that this is their comic strip. On second thought, who in their right mind would brag to their mom about this comic strip? Excuse me while I call my mom....

4. Why haven't you bought a t-shirt?
9% (14) I have. I'm one of the cool ones.
16% (24) $12 is so expensive. I'm not made of money you know.
7% (10) Because they suck.
26% (39) I'm lazy and pathetic. Please don't tease me.
42% (62) You sell t-shirts?
0% (0) No Answer

Seven percent of you think my shirts suck. Oddly, this is the same percentage of people I meet each day that I think suck. Coincidence? Not likely. Another interesting thing that came out of this question: Every last one of you know why you haven't bought a T-shirt, yet five percent of you don't know your name (see question 1). Looks like a very interesting personality profile is beginning to emerge...

5. What age group are you in?
(Note that there is not an "under 12" category. If you are under 12, I don't want to know. Just click on one of the others and we'll both pretend)
25% (36) 12 - 18
30% (45) 19 - 25
20% (29) 26 - 30
7% (10) 31 - 35
5% (7) 35 - 45
8% (11) 45 - 60
6% (8) I'm over 60. Where is the Internet?
1% (1) No Answer

Seventy-five percent of Mr. Chuck Readers are under the age of 30. This probably explains the number one answer to question 18. (see below)

6. Have you ever been caught being gay in a closet?
7% (10) Yes.
89% (132) No.
5% (7) No Answer

This was kind of a shock to me... Ninety-six percent of you are gay. And another shock: the vast majority of you (eighty-nine percent) have never been caught. What a life you all must lead. One can only imagine. I'm sure the "fear of discovery" looms large each time you and your "special friend" head off to your favorite closet to "rub uglies". And although it's true that the "closet" is a very effective hiding place to engage in lascivious homosexual activities, keep one thing in mind... Being gay does not make you a freak. It's the "hiding in the closet to do it" part that makes you a freak.

Here's a theory I have about the five percent of you who didn't answer this question...
Most of you were also caught, but you are confused. The reason you believe you weren't actually caught is that at the exact moment of discovery, you shut your eyes believing that this would make you invisible. As I've told my older brother on many occasions, shutting your eyes does not make you invisible. Next time you shut your eyes, look in a mirror. You're not invisible. Note that percentage of people who didn't answer this question is the same percentage of people didn't know their own names (see question 1). Coincidence? Uh huh, right...

7. In general, you really wouldn't be surprised if you saw me...
15% (22) at an ABBA concert.
10% (15) crying in the corner like a little bitch.
8% (13) rolling myself in dog poo at the park.
14% (21) A and B.
4% (6) A and C.
21% (31) B and C.
26% (39) A, B and C.
1% (1) No Answer

Twenty-six percent of you realized that this was a trick question and knew to answer "A, B, and C". The interesting thing here is that hardly anyone picked the answer "A and C". Apparently, someone who would attend an ABBA concert AND roll themselves in dog-poo must undoubtedly also cry in the corner like a little bitch. Actually, now that I take the time to think about it, it does make a great deal of sense. There's probably some physics formula somewhere that describes this behavior.

8. Approximately how often do you read The Mr. Chuck Show or come to this site?
45% (67) Once a week.
15% (22) About every 2 or 3 weeks.
3% (4) No more than once a month
23% (34) I don't know, this is my 1st time here.
14% (21) I can't read, but I like pictures.
0% (0) No Answer

More than half of you visit on a frequent basis. As for the fourteen percent who can't read, you're not missing very much.

9. Would you like me to make a "no frames" version of this site?
14% (21) Yes.
58% (85) No.
26% (39) What are frames?
2% (3) No Answer

Now this is really a shame. I was going to create a "No Frames" version of the site if at least fifteen percent of the people wanted it. So close, yet no cigar. Oh well, there's always next time, I guess.

10. If Sally has $3.20 in quarters and dimes, and she has 3 more quarters than she has dimes, how many dimes does she have? (no calculators please)
7% (10) five.
9% (14) six.
54% (80) seven.
8% (11) eight.
17% (25) nine.
6% (8) No Answer

Just over half of you can do simple math without the aid of a calculator. As for the remaining forty-six percent of you, here's a nifty plan... First, learn how to use a calculator. Second, do ALL math on your calculator. Third, don't go anywhere without your calculator. Fourth, buy extra batteries in case the ones you are using run low. Based on these poor results, You can expect to see more math questions on next years survey...

One other interesting side note... everyone who answered that they wanted a "no frames version of this site" in the previous question, got this question wrong. I'm not lying. Every last one. What a bunch of "non-frame-lovin-need-to-carry-a-calculator-just-to-do-simple-math" retards!

11. The Internet showcases a great many comic strips. Which one is your favorite?
93% (139) The Mr. Chuck Show.
7% (10) No Answer

Wow! the vast majority of you picked this very strip as your favorite. Thanks.

Here's a theory I have about the seven percent who didn't give an answer to this question... I think this was some kind of "protest" vote. If you were one of the ones in this group, here's a personal message from me to you: Blow me.

12. What is your second favorite online comic strip?

The number one strip doesn't surprise me. Here are the ones that were mentioned by multiple people. I ranked them based on how many times they were mentioned.

The rest of these all received single mentions.

Several people apparently made up some strip names. Here are those. BTW, If any of these are real strips, send me an email and let me know.

I think they meant "spumco", but this is still funny

These three fall under the "misc." category...

editors note: I love you too!

13. Ned asked me to include this one... The English language doesn't have a specific adjective to describe a woman with a really nice set of breasts. If you could only pick one, which word would you like to see added to our vocabulary?(i.e. Hot damn! She looks really ________)
13% (20) Gozongalicious.
19% (28) Mammarific.
20% (29) Breastabulous.
8% (13) Hootrageous.
19% (28) Titastic.
19% (28) Boobnificent.
2% (3) No Answer

Well, "breastabulous" just barely beat out the competition. My personal favorite is boobnificent. Since this is my survey, I'm gonna just tell Ned that boobnificent actually won. Naaah Nah Nah Nah Naaaah Nah.

14. Every month I highlight a comic strip on the Top Dog Award page. Do you ever read these?
22% (32) Yes.
50% (74) No.
25% (38) Occasionally.
3% (4) No Answer

To the fifty percent who answered "no", you don't know what you're missing. I give away free cash on that page!

15. Have you ever used the link page to find other comics?
47% (70) Yes.
49% (73) No.
4% (6) No Answer

I actually thought that "links" pages were more popular than these results would indicate. This is probably because I found most of my favorite comics on someone's links page. In reality though, the percentage of people that say they used my links page is the same percentage that said they found this site from a link on another comic site. Make's sense to me.

16. Do you feel this survey was a complete waste of time?
18% (27) Yes.
21% (31) No.
58% (87) No more so than your comic.
3% (4) No Answer

Think about it. "No more so than your comic" is just a different ways of saying "no". It's a "relative no" of sorts. It's a "conditional" no. This leads me to wonder... Does "no" really need an adjective. Is "hell no" any different than just a plain old "no"? It really comforts me to know that the overwhelming majority of you couldn't just answer "no" to this question. And some of you think that I'M an asshole...

17. What question do you wish I would have asked you in this survey? (Here's your chance, be creative).

This was the big question. I'm warning you: take a deep breath and get prepared. This is a long one... Not everyone included a question in their survey. Nonetheless, here are some of the better ones. I made an attempt to sort them based on topic, and I even added commentary for you viewing pleasure.

This was by far the most common question. I've shown it here in it's various forms. (editors note: some of you must REALLY think I have no life!)

Would you like me to do this strip daily?
Would you like Mr. Chuck to go DAILY?
Should this comic strip go daily?
How much more frequently should I be updating the Mr Chuck Show? (Answer would be daily).

This was the next most common question. Here it is in all it's various forms.

Some of you were apparently bothered by question 6 (editors note: the last of this group shows definite signs of typical latent homosexual tendancies).

A few of you apparently have a testicle fetish.

Sex and foul language showed up in a few submissions. I actually expected more of this than I got. The last question has me wondering, "don't you actually have to have 'some' in order to have 'more'?"

Ned was also a popular subject for questions.

Other characters from the strip inspired questions as well...

Then there were the "general-type" comics questions.

This one was subtle, yet classic.

Why people are stupid? I liked this one

If Sally has $3.20 in qu-- What? Oh. Damnit! [Slapping own forehead] Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! A few of you had "current events" on the brain.

Believe it or not, this one didn't show up the first fifty. Four people submitted it.

What question do you wish I would have asked you in this survey? I recently switched jobs. This was someone who obviously knew where I used to spend 40 hours a week.

What's the chance that NSC won't go belly up in the next month? A bunch of you are damn silly.

The rest of you are just plain silly.

18. And finally... which statement best sums up your "Mr. Chuck Show" experience?
14% (21) It helps me make poopy.
33% (49) I like it, but hey, I like everything.
3% (4) I feel really sick.
42% (63) It's not too bad, but it could use some porn.
7% (10) How do I remove unwanted bookmarks?.
1% (1) No Answer

I tend to agree with the majority of you. "Some porn" would really make this site much better. "Too much porn", and this site goes from a comic strip site to a porn site (I can hear some of you saying, "and your point is?"). Assuming for a moment that I really want a comic site and not a porn site, then the problem becomes very complicated. At what point do you cross the line between "some porn/mostly comic" to "lotsa porn/not much comic". See what I mean. It's a gray area ( that's "grey" for our English readers). It's indeterminate. It's not black and white. Here's the bottom line... I want "some porn" like the rest of you, but to put it frankly, it's a Pandora's Box that I just do not want to open. Unfortunately, until some great mind can sort this stuff out, we'll have to just settle for our little nude comic strip characters.

Well, that's it! That's all! I hope you enjoyed reading these responses as much as I have. Well, I'd better get back to work. The next survey has to be ready in 8 months. Damn, I'm gonna have to hurry!

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